2 terminators in every garage

The Schwarzenegger Channel: End of Days and The 6th Day 24 hours a day, everyday!

health guidelines that ensure everybody can be just as healthy as President Reagan

Ahnuld's first act as governor: a moratorium on future Sly Stallone features

Supplemental fluoride in water supply will be replaced with creatine

citizens will rest easy knowing assassinating Ahnuld will only make him mad

roads will be repaved with bodies of special interest reps

leadership from the unique perspective of a man that was kinda-sorta pregnant for a while

Californian children will finally have the opportunity to learn perfect English through the example of their governor

schools will quickly convert existing physical education curriculums over to highly-advanced "Running Man" program

gap teeth will finally be fashionable

California will be known henceforth as Kellifoahneeah

it's Kennedy time: party at Martha's Vineyard, and we're all invited!

compared with "Total Recall," California's street violence is nothing

the widely-anticipated "Governor Ahnuld" action figure will make everyone's collection complete

popular California-only promotional McDonald's item: Chicken McSchwarzenuggets!

Maria Shriver Day, everyday!

politicians usually don't have enough time to make feature films...if you know what I mean

Aliens and cyborgs will certainly think twice before invading this state

California will revel in the sheer joy of taunting "my governor can whoop your governor"

water cooler debates about whether it's funnier to hear Ahnuld say "filibuster" or "gerrymander"

Total Recall experience will motivate him to seek and personally oversee special services for women with three breasts

security body double and perfect Ahnuld-lookalike Danny Devito will fool would-be kidnappers from nabbing the real guv

finally it'll be politically correct for co-workers to "go commando"

ferrets for everybody!