Ahnuld vs. Arnold!: 10 reasons why Ahnuld deserves to win more than Gary Coleman

  1. Ahnuld's seen Maria Shriver naked...who's Gary Coleman seen naked besides Gary Coleman

  2. Gary Coleman couldn't carry Ahnuld's jock (no, really, it weighs like 20 lbs)

  3. Ahnuld: cool accent; Gary Coleman: don't have a cent

  4. "What you talkin' 'bout, Senator" line will be played out in first week

  5. Gary's potential first action as the new guv: State Supreme Court Justice Webster!

  6. even affirmative action proponents agree, Gary's isn't more of a minority just because he still looks like a minor

  7. notice how GRAY and GARY have the same letters in them? I think they're the same person!

  8. press conferences don't need Gary's constant grumbling about how he "got screwed out of that Ewok gig"

  9. Ahnuld won't spend all day fantasizing about Smurfette

    And the number one reason:

  10. no tying up the courts with legality of "sleep with Gary, get a tax cut" legislation